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Grief, Preservation, and Joy (part 2)

Updated: Oct 25, 2023


A Conversation with MySelf - Journey of the Awakened Heart

The partner of grief is preservation

Joy has no opposite

In joy, preservation and grief are one

Amy: Gaaaawwwwwd! Eugh!

(Amy stamps her foot and launches a rock into the pond)

God: Yes Amy

Amy: Oh! Hi God (sounding dejected)

God: Tell me how you’re feeling Amy

Amy: Frustration God. I’m feeling frustration. And sadness

God: Where is it Amy, where do you feel it.

Amy: Hmmmm. Well, the frustration is in my teeth and my throat

God: and the sadness?

Amy: it’s in my heart, and my cheeks, the face…

God: yes Amy. The face ones, I know. Ok. Tell me about the frustration and the sadness. Why is it here?

Amy: Well, I’ve been playing a lot of dizzy ducks. But I do need to do other things too. Wash the dishes, brush my hair, go to do the shopping, go to work, oh it just goes on and on and on…..

(Amy breaks down into a puddle of her own tears on the ground)

God: Ok Amy. Tell me the problem about the other things that you are doing, when you’re not playing dizzy ducks

Amy: Well, God, I’m feeling sad with all the other things. My joy is in Dizzy Ducks, so when I’m not playing dizzy ducks, I feel so sad…..oh I just miss it so much. I also feel worry, because I’m not following my purpose. My purpose is Dizzy Ducks.

God: Oh I seeeeeee. This is your confusion – let’s clear this up

(Amy stands to her feet and raises an eyebrow of intrigue)

Amy: confusion?

God: Yes Amy. Dizzy Ducks brings you Joy, but your Joy is not dependent on Dizzy Ducks. Your Joy expresses through you and CREATES Dizzy Ducks. Your joy is always here, YOU ARE JOY

Amy: I Am….Joy?

(she frowns with a thought of ‘is this for real?’)

God: Yes Amy. Joy is your True Nature, where you go, it goes.

Amy: I’m sorry God but this does not make any sense.

God: Tell my why it doesn’t make sense Amy

Amy: Well, I just told you. I feel super, super sad when I’m doing all the other things now, unless it’s Dizzy Ducks. I feel sadder than ever now when I’m doing all the other things. My Joy MUST be in the Dizzy Ducks. I’ve proved it.

God: I understand Amy, but this isn’t the case. This is what the mind does when it feels Joy. Because your mind has decided that YOU (Joy) are happy BECAUSE of Dizzy Ducks, now you feel sad when the Dizzy Ducks goes away – because it believes it’s lost the JOY THAT YOU ARE

Amy: but God, I’m not feeling Joy without the dizzy ducks, I’m feeling super, super, super sad

God: This sadness is still Joy Amy. It still comes from Joy. It is still made of Joy – but it’s an expression of Joy that comes when the mind is searching for it. When it feels like its lost something, or someone, or some place – that it believes was the thing that made it happy.

Amy: ooooohhhhhhhh I seeeeeeeee

(she pauses for a moment and tries to take it all in)

Amy: Hmmmmph

God: Tell me how you’re feeling Amy

Amy: I feel frustration

God: Tell me why

Amy: I’m stuck again

God: Tell me why you’re stuck.

Amy: Well I don’t know what to do

God: About what Amy?

Amy: I don’t’ know what to do about this problem. My mind thinks that it can only find Joy in Dizzy Ducks and so I only feel my Joy when I’m playing dizzy ducks, and so I feel sad everywhere else – My stupid stupid mind!!!

God: now now Amy. That’s just more mind. Would you like me to tell you what to do.

Amy: Oh God, yes pleeeeaaaaaase

(she’s drops onto her knees and shakes her clasped hands towards him in desperate plea)

God: You need to feel all of your feelings Amy. You need to feel it all.

Amy: Even the sadness?

God: Yes Amy, even the sadness. The sadness is made of Joy remember. You don’t need to get rid of it. Sadness is Joy. Sadness is beautiful. And this sadness needs your love just as much as dizzy ducks does.

Amy: oooohhhhhh – now I feel super, super sad for my super, super, super sadness. What a mess!!

God: That’s because sadness is feeling sad about sadness – You, Joy, need to see and feel the sadness, knowing that it is made of it. Like Joy is sadness’ little girl or little boy. Joy knows everything is all ok and that sadness can be here for as long as it needs to. Just as sadness.

(Amy pauses for a while and looks down towards her heart)

Amy: Ok. I get it now. I know what to do.

God: Great Amy.

Amy: thanks God.

God: my pleasure Amy.

(Amy sits on her tree stump and gets to work, a moment passes and her cheeks (the face ones) start to wobble)

Amy: God?

God: Yes Amy

Amy: I’m feeling a bit scared. Will you stay with me a while, while I feel my feelings?

God: Yes Amy. I’m always here, feeling your feelings with you.

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