Nondual Therapy & The Cessation of Seeking

Life is inherently whole and complete with no ‘other life’ outside of itself.

The indestructible and everpresent wholeness of life can neither add to nor lose its’ already and always fullness. It neither erodes nor builds through time. Life simply changes how it appears as a dynamic play of creation in its immediacy - the only presence here, knowing and being itself. 

In Nondual Psychology and Therapy, healing is not about improving ourselves to fit an ideal or mold, or to be 'someone better'; it is about remembering our true nature, returning to our naturalness prior to the conditioning of our seeking patterns in thought, feeling, and behaviour, and integrating such patterns back into the true self—whole, complete, and unbroken.

Nondual Psychology and Therapy emphasises the self-revealing nature of existence and how this is recognised through the power of observation, right understanding, and right perception through the felt sense of experiencing.

In Nondual Therapy and Psychology, it is recognised that our suffering is driven by the energetic patterns of seeking in thought, feeling and behaviour. Such patterns birth from the assumption of separation - an innocent misperception and misunderstanding of life's nature. Our patterns of seeking are largely socially driven and maintain a constant, heavy, fearful, and burdensome focus on ‘what is happening in experience’. This focus on trying to control life's flux and flow through a lens of 'self and other' is an innocent attempt to meet our core needs in relation to the everchanging relative world of experiencing. This focus obscures our true nature as this already complete self - beyond, whilst fully including and expressing - the play of an individual bodymind in a relative world of diverse expression and togetherness. With a shift of focus through right understanding, these energetic patterns of seeking can be recognised and resourced as our self -revealing power.

Love is not outside - love is here.

In the Reparenting as Presence framework, our patterns of seeking are the conditioned ‘Child Mind’ in a constant state of energetic flux - attempting to grasp and avoid aspects of life's reflection - this which appears as a world from which it is apart. They are grounded in a misunderstanding and misperception of life’s true nature. Although largely unconscious until we begin to bring awareness to it, the discomfort of Child Mind’s deep rooted, existential fears around this misunderstanding of its true nature as the one life that we are is negated, driving it to seek external fulfilment. Child Mind needs its’ source - The Radiant Parent as Presence - but through this misunderstanding and misperception, does not trust it and does not feel safe – and so creates ideas through desire and fear, of fulfilling its needs through the material and relational world:

Through the misunderstanding of our core need for Authenticity, "The Good Person" fears criticism and seeks approval as our social longing for external validation drives our experience of being - "if I am liked, I am worthy".

Our core need for inherent Worth manifests as 'The Achiever' who seeks significance through the fear of being overlooked. Longing for recognition -

"If I succeed, I am valuable".

In seeking the natural Sovereignty of the Self, 'The Protector' fears vulnerability. A longing for control and dominance acts as a buffer - driving a social desire for strength and power - "if I am strong, I am safe".

As "The Wounded Soul" - Love is our core need. In our search, we fear indifference and seek sympathy. Longing for external emotional validation, our self-experiencing is driven by the unconscious assumption "If I suffer, I matter".

"The Expert" longs for intellectual validation as a primary social desire that drives the world of relating. Intelligence is believed to be the primary force for meeting core longings, in a background atmosphere of fearing ignorance - "If I am knowledgeable, I am respected". Beyond intellect, the true need is Wisdom - this which is inherent to the quiet effortless arising and simplicity of being.

"The Loyal Friend" craves external inclusion - striving for acceptance inside the fear of rejection, the core need of Belonging as the one life that we are is obscured - "If I belong, I am safe".

Such fears are largely rooted in perceived possible loss, and desires through perceived possible gain in relation to maintaining an identity upon which there is a heavy reliance in attempts to meet core needs externally. This identity is by definition always insecure and unstable as it is based upon the evershifting flux of life's appearances in an apparently objective world that does appear, but does not exist in and of itself. Life (consciousness) as the omnipresent sole subject (the one 'I') with no objective 'outside' world is overlooked.

The seeking patterns of fear and desire are closed, self-perpetuating loops of attempts to control life’s majesty.  Given that life cannot be controlled, nor needs to be, experiencing this is painful, exhausting, numbing, and isolating.  What is desired materially and socially in the world is an innocent mis-take of what is truly needed – qualities of which we already are as the true impersonal Self. The core needs of Authenticity, Belonging, Love, Wisdom, Worth, and Sovereignty are natural givens - nondual qualities that simply express from the fact of wholeness as the one life that we are. They are life's birthright and cannot be deserved, earned, nor created. The qualities that we seek simply and always are - already permitted as life's naturalness throughout all creation. They cannot be destroyed, but they can be obscured. And so, can also be revealed.

Although life cannot lose any of itself, we can understand this perception of possible loss and gain as an upside down insight – as Child Mind reflects (reverses) its source without right understanding -that is, the fact of experience as immediate and ever-changing play, and the true self as the safety of the unchanging. Child Mind overlooks the beauty and wisdom of life’s majesty as this presence of experiencing from which it is totally inseparable. The truth is that it needs to do nothing to make life’s inherent perfection and fulfilment so.

Child Mind is always playing safely and eternally through its own creation – it just needs support from the nature of its own radiance to reveal this truth that is already here. This is the movement of self-unfoldment and transmutation.

Such patterns of misunderstanding and associated seeking undercurrent as the driving force of the human social life and so it is no surprise that our true nature seems to be so persistently obscured. This misunderstood consensus of life’s nature is consistently reinforced within our social milieus, driving the formation and maintenance of our relationships across varied spheres of influence.

In compassionate understanding, we can approach the integration of these painful patterns and styles of seeking through an incremental revealing of felt and expressed spontaneous and gentle wisdom for ourselves and others with whom we relate from moment to moment, regardless of how such patterns are appearing.  This is the effortless work of the open heart. However patterns of seeking are manifesting, it is always arising as both the suffering and freedom of the one life that we are.

The experience of suffering through these loops of fear and desire (seeking) feels very real and are not a mistake. They are just misunderstood from moment to moment and so gain traction, charge, and density in the world of time and space. Birthing from the core assumption of separation – they are a powerful invitation to reveal the nature of the real as timeless, dimensionless, infinite being. Through recognising the patterns and reparenting as presence, we can turn to face the truth of our experience - and in so doing, reveal the truth of our nature as the source of all core needs. Ever-present, whole, eternal, and complete.